I have tried hard to avoid sexual temptations. Not that I am addicted to them, but I have struggled with ridding them from my life completely. I have often gone long periods without yeilding to fornication (years), but after meeting someone special, I would find myself falling. I would immediately cry out to God for forgiveness. Recently, I told myself that I would not pursue relationships with women as a tactic to rid myself of any potential temptation. Well, six months ago, I met this young lady who is saved and is very active in church. I found myself drawn to her spiritual beauty and to my resentment, her physical appeal. We fornicated only ONCE (protected intercourse) and had different heated episodes, but we have prayed together and asked God for His forgiveness and to strengthen us. We even wrote down a list of rules that we follow not to tempt each other. Things were looking good - we had a good friendship where we always talked about God's word and we were abstaining from any temptations. Then just the other day, I discovered that she has an STD (not HIV). I went to get tested for precaution. I am waiting for the results and we both feel miserable. I am soooo afraid that God is going to punish us. I have forgiven her for not being honest with me up-front. We both have tried to obey God. Yes, we made a mistake or two, but we immediately asked for forgiveness and REPENTED. I'm asking that you pray that I do not contract the condition she has and that we do not lose our friendship. I enjoy talking about Christ with her, and we had corrected our physical lusts for each other. I'm a 29 year old single male, and it's not often you find a young lady you can talk indepth about Christ. I don't deny that we made a few mistakes, and I understand that sometimes there are consequences to our sins (that we often fight but lose a few battles). Regardless of the outcome, I will continue to seek God's will and strive to obey Him. However, I will pray fervently that He will give us another chance...and I ask with all appreciation that you will pray that God will excuse us from harsh consequences. I don't want to feel His anger/disappointment, and I don't want to build up bitterness toward her. I feel like the Apostle Paul, "Those thing I want to do, I do not do. Those things I don't want to do, I find myself doing...O wretched soul of mine! God have mercy on me...PLEASE! Thank-you. |