It is by grace that you are saved working through faith,but you can actually deny you faith by you own actions. [James 2:14-26] clearly shows us that faith is dead without works,Jesus when talking of false prophets 'you shall no them by their fruits'.The Christian walk is a on going walk,it is the only true peace in a caotic world,but you must walk in the light to enjoy true fellowship with our God.He is worth following,all these things which have drawn you will never bring peace or true happiness, do not be deceived sincerely repent of your sin and get right with God. God loves you and wants to forgive you, but He cannot until you repent. [1 John 1:9] and then [1 John 1:5-10] and [1 John 2:1-6].

I hope you can come into the true and faithful love of you father who is in Heaven,He knows all about you and loves you,so turn from that which destroys and follow the path you used to enjoy,think HAS God ever been wrong or unfaithful to you,ofcoarse not,As for God His way is perfect.He is waiting and His mercy is new every morning.
[Luke 15:11-32]
God Bless 

changed on Tuesday, May 13, 2003 4:38:13 AM

The fact that you DO believe, and are trying to change accordingly leads me to conclude that your salvation is safe. Getting to heaven is a matter of faith, believing. You wouldn't worry about misconduct if you hadn't believed, so if you're worried, then you believe, and are therefore justified by faith (or by grace, through faith, same thing).
As for repentance and all, groadsmom already mentioned it, and with more details than i would.
Just don't struggle so much to find your way back to God.
Consider the pharisees. All the pious deeds and rules they followed.
Consider the criminal on the cross beside Jesus. The one final thing which he did right.
The saving power of Christ is that of grace, not of law. It's a matter of acceptance and trust in Him. Try not to 'do' or 'do-not'. Simply seek Him; the rest should follow quite naturally.
Seek not the gift; seek the giver. 

changed on Wednesday, April 02, 2003 4:14:37 AM

First of all I feel that you are on the right path to forgiveness. You have made the first step in getting in touch here. The next step is to get to your knees and ask God for forgiveness and truely turn away from (repent) the life style you have turned to out side of God. Get back into his word and find some one who is a christian that you can feel comfortable with and confess to them, ask them for help, and pray pray pray. God will hear you and answer your prayers. May God bless you and give you the strength you need.