Lets start with this quote from the scriptures:
[1 John 4:18]
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
Could it be that you want to be in love with this woman but in actuality you are not?
Or could it possibly be that you fear making a commitment...?
You state that "Deep in your heart I know this is my wife...I feel that God is trying to tell me something and I'm not listening."
This almost sounds as if you aren't hearing what you want to hear...and not what God is saying. It is almost as if you are apprehensive about this; and are waiting for a confirmation from God to justify your doubts.
[Song of Solomon 8:7]
Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it...
If this was NOT the woman for you, God would have answered you long ago to warn you of making such a mistake.
Possibly God has answered in a way you do not want to hear...He has spoken against the marriage and you don't want to hear this response.
All people go through times of anxiety at the prospect of commiting to marriage; which is normal. However, to have these feelings for almost two years is something of a different matter; especially when you have gone as far as calling off the engagement due to these fears and anxieties.
Also, don't forget that Satan is a liar. Somehow Satan could have entered your thoughts, for fear is the work of Satan; and his lies are a well known trick of his.
[John 8:44]
He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
Also, do you have a Pastor/Father/Spiritual Leader that you can turn to for help and advice in this matter?
I wish you the very best during this troubled time.
God Bless.
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