I have said a prayer for you. I encourage you to continue to pray for support and guidence from the Holy Spirit. I too am working on finding out how to use my spiritual gifts to do some good. I found the book "The Purpose Driven Life" very informative and uplifting.
In response to the being "unwanted", you are always wanted and loved by God. He is always there for you. Sometimes trouble in our lives makes it hard to see it, but if you have accepted Jesus as your savior he will always watch out for you.
On the being abused, I'm assuming you are a woman, and I appologize if I am wrong, but I was browsing through the net the other day and I found a site
http://www.christianwomen.net
that might be of interest to you.