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        Relationship flaws - condemning, judgemental, self-righteous heart.
 
I come before you, ashamed as a Christian, but desparately seeking help from God through Christ.

I am in a friendship relationship with a young woman with whom I have grown to care about a great deal. She and I have shared personal things about ourselves, and I have one thorn in my side about her - one particular episode in her sexual past. I have come to grips with all the issues with her sexual past except one - her most recent experience. She informed me that it happened only twice with a guy that she met through a group of friends. Prior to that she had been practicing abstinence for 3 years, and prior to the 3 years of abstinence, she had practiced it for 2yrs/1yr/months, etc. She is saved and is a child of God.

My prayer request is that I accept this mistake she made in the manner that Christ would want me. I am ashamed to admit that I have held this against her for a few weeks now, and I sense Satan whipping me with it. Things became more hurtful when I met the guy she had the last episode with a week ago. It was unexpected for both her and me. Nothing came of it, but I am battling these images in my mind of them being intimate. She has told me on several occassions that the two episodes were not premeditated, that they were not romantic encounters, and that she was convicted by the Holy Spirit and repented. More so, these episodes happened a month or so before she met me, and she and the guy has had no contact whatsoever since she repented. She confessed to me that the incident happened b/c she was lonely and was caught at a time when her spirit was weaker than her flesh...not that she was romantically in love with the guy, but b/c she was weak. Now, as a Christian, I should be at peace with this and show mercy. I feel that I have a condemning/judgmental heart. It's not like I was a saint before I met her; therefore, double standards and self-righteousness are present here also. I am afraid that I could be given to the tormentors (Matt. 18:23-35). I want so badly to forget this episode, and see what God has in store for us. It's irritating...as I pointed out at the beginning, I have no problem with her prior sexual experiences, it's just this most recent one (one that occurred before she even knew me).

My apologies for the long message, but I want help from Christ immediately, b/c I would hate to push her away b/c of my poisoned heart. I have been praying daily for God to renew my heart and mind. I also have been asking Christ that if He has brought her into my life, then please provide what I need to make this friendship/relationship work. I DON'T WANT TO BE CONDEMNING NOR DO I WANT TO HAVE A JUDGEMENTAL HEART! I WANT GOD'S BEST! Please pray for me. Thank-you so much. 
Monday, April 22, 2002 8:11:32 AM   steelers
 
      re:Relationship flaws - condemning, judgemental, self-righteous   
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." [Rom 8:1,2]

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." [1 Jhn 1:9]

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." [Col 3:12-14]

These are God's promises to us, and we are able to appropriate them because God gives us the enabling. At times, answers to our prayers do not come immediately. At times we have to travail for some time. God has His reasons, either way. Trust Him. He will answer your prayers, in His own time.

Father in Heaven, I lift up Steelers before you. You see the struggle he is going through right now, and I thank You so much that he wants to be right with You. Help him to bring his thoughts to captive in You. Let not his imaginations get the better of him. Help him to forgive his friend, for whatever hurt that he may have.

Lord, You see his struggles. Help him not to give up. Refresh him and guide him as he spend time with you. Help him to be humble, and to be more compassionate.

Only with Your help is it possible, and help Steeler to lean on You.

In Jesus' Name, Amen. 
Thursday, April 25, 2002 3:28:13 AM cherisheep
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